Why Chasing Perfection Through Trophy Wives and Designer Kids Leads to Emotional Bankruptcy—And How the Sanaatan Way Offers a Path to Real Fulfilment
Trophy wives and designer kids are concepts that reflect societal values around status, appearance and achievement, often highlighting the insecurity behind image-driven motives to impress society at large.
Trophy Wives
A trophy wife is traditionally defined as a younger, attractive spouse – usually a woman – married to a wealthier man, primarily valued as a status symbol rather than a partner. Today the definition also extends to women who undergo extensive plastic surgery – before and after marriage – to look or appear as a particular, media defined “beautiful” woman.
Designer Kids
Parallel to the idea of trophy wives is the concept of “designer kids,” where parents raise their children primarily as symbols of success and perfection to impress others. This phenomenon involves pushing children to behave and perform, not necessarily for the child’s own fulfillment but to enhance the parents’ image. The pressure to have the most accomplished children can lead to children becoming extensions of their parents’ egos rather than individuals with their own identities.
Societal Implications
Both trophy wives and designer kids highlight how social status and fake images can overshadow authentic human connections and personal development. Trophy wives are often objectified, valued mainly for their looks and role in enhancing a husband’s prestige, while designer kids are burdened with unrealistic expectations to uphold family reputation and show others how lucky their parents are.
At the core of this concept is the fact that the individual feels unhappy with both the wife and the children, and thus forces them to be their unnatural selves.
What is overlooked and not spoken about is the emotional health toll that these concepts carry on everyone involved. Most families who start off with trophy wives and designer kids end up being dysfunctional. And then everyone in the family asks – why am I so unlucky? – Why is life so depressing? – Why am I living?
The Purpose of the Family
What is the purpose of the family? Is it to show off to others in society that you are better than them or is it for you to have a peaceful balanced family life?
What is the purpose of your wife? Is she there to partner you in your life journey and have children with you or is she there to show off to others?
What is the purpose of your children? Are they there to complete your unfulfilled ambitions and desires or are they there to provide you the pleasure of being your children?
The Sanaatan Way
Grihastha – the second stage of life – the life of a householder. We have totally forgotten it. In the Grishast stage, marriage and the family were both the journey and the destination. One got involved fully in it and enjoyed it in all its aspects. The Grishasti gave an individual options to understand themselves better while living life itself – a learning on the job situation. And as one lived through it, one evolved – in multiple ways – as well.
Sexuality – The Bedrock of Marriage
Kama – sexual pleasure was the bedrock of marriage. If the couple didn’t enjoy each other, the marriage was headed for trouble. And if differences were insurmountable, then alternatives were found.
Children – You fulfilling your Runanubandhs
Children were considered as opportunities for you to fulfil your Runanubandhs – the debts you carried from previous lives! Your children also gave you the pleasure of being parents, the pleasure of seeing them grow into fine human beings.
I am not saying everything is perfect and ideal in the Sanaatan way. Nothing is perfect in life. We live in imperfection and die in imperfection, as we carry on our journey in this life and the beyond. But what the Grihast stage does is to give us a template on how to fulfill our duties and obligation – to ourselves, to our families, to our society and to the Earth and beyond.
Conclusion
Enjoy the Grishast stage of your life. Don’t go into false concepts like trophy wives, designer kids, artificial life! You enjoy with your wife and family. Let your children evolve and grow into the fine independent individuals they are. It’s your life. You decide how you want to live it.
And while you are passing through your Grihast stage, meditate and look within yourself as well. Your meditativeness will not only enhance the beauty and pleasure of your life but will also open up many more avenues and opportunities in life.